Today, I was feeling some kind of way, just thinking about my life and the motions I am going through. It never fails that one week before my menstrual period I am so emotionally drained and so unsure of what is going on in my life. So, I thought about my happiness for a change something I don’t do often because I am a mother of three and I have a companion that does an excellent job of making sure we all have what we need on a daily basis, but it got me to thinking is that enough, does that make me happy? What does it take for me, Shawond Givens to really be happy and am I willing to give up those things that I think mean the most to me to reassure myself of something I am not so quite sure of anymore. I just look back on my life within that last five years and I say to myself you
were a working women making pretty good money, confident in who you were, able to do just about anything you wanted, married, owned a house and now to this not working, struggling mentally and emotionally, not for sure who I am anymore, not married and not able to do hardly anything…and all I can think about is how did I get myself here and will I ever get back on the mountain top and be the Shawond Givens that I was five years ago bigger and better and then one of my good friends send me a youtube video to watch and it was a video that confirmed everything I was doubting…The Lord!!! When your life my life is down so far where you can’t see the light…It will take a lot but you have to stay in faith, I have to stay in faith that if GOD gave it to you or I before he will give it to you and I again bigger and better. So, as of today I am going to just pray my way through all of the darkness until I see some light and learn to love myself the way GOD loves me because he has not given up on me so why should I give up on myself.